Repeated attacks on trans rights are exhausting

I have been thinking about Jackie Sabbagh’s poem Having a Great Time Being Transgender in America Lately just about every day since the Supreme Court thing. You know the one I mean.

Our transatlantic cultures have become sufficiently closely aligned on this issue that the poem is entirely transferrable. And that last line is so haunting: “I hear a noise behind me, and I don’t turn around.”

It rings in my ears when I’m out in public, especially on the streets, in shops, in bars, in train stations. What does it mean to me? It depends on my mood that day. Does it conjure a wishful future where I live in peace? Does it describe my attempts to be fearless when I have things to fear? A bit of both.

Finding allies in the queue for the bar

The only places I don’t think about it are at venues. Artists, punks, gig room bartenders and ticket-holding members of the public are my best allies. And I have been happy to see arts sector leaders standing their ground and standing with trans people.

I won’t say I’m ‘grateful’ because that implies something extraordinary is being done, rather than showing basic common decency and support. But I will admit to being ‘thankful’. I’m lucky to work in the arts – even if on the fringes.

When I meet clients and partners for the first time, I often experience a small slice of dread. How will people react to seeing a real live trans person? When the meeting is with an arts organisation, the dread slice dwindles to barely a sliver.

It’s a small comfort but a comfort, nonetheless. It helps me not turn around.

Protecting mental health at work while being legislated out of existence

This takes a toll. When your rights are under attack, it’s hard to remain chipper in your customer service-focused job. I’m trying my best but if I respond to your email a bit more slowly than usual, it’s because I’m staring at the news with a sinking feeling again.

But it’s not just trans people feeling this, I’m sure. At a time when dangerous and divisive rhetoric on immigration is once again being ramped up, the “I’m not quoting Enoch Powell” shirt is raising a lot of questions already answered by the shirt. These are trying times for many and it’s understandable to be exhausted by it.

In my job I spend a lot of time talking to people, working agency side in web design. So my office has a comfortable sofa to space out on, a coffee place next door that does a decent iced latte, and a headphone policy that means I can listen all day to melancholic music made by trans women.

Solidarity to those in less insufferably hip offices, or on the front lines answering phones and manning booths, where such luxuries don’t exist. I hope you’re ok. I’m here if you need to talk. Hit me on LinkedIn if you want. I’d love a professional network of trans people for support and community. All we have is each other.

Mental health preservation tips

I don’t have much say on this as I don’t want to be a wellness influencer, but one of the team here recently switched to a low sugar diet and is feeling pretty good about it. So I guess try that?

All I can really do is remind you of the importance of listening to your feelings and your central nervous system. And to acknowledge that downward spiralling mental health is as valid a reason to take a day off as poor physical health.

And that any creeping sense of dread and overwhelm at your rights being infringed is a valid cause for your mental health to spiral downwards.

I’ll talk to leaders here instead

Thanks for signing the petitions and open letters folks – sincerely. But please go a step further and ensure that anyone who might be experiencing heightened anxiety and stress – because of the current state of the world – can take a break every now and then. Check in, help out, do what you can.
I’ll quote Jackie Sabbagh again: “I am excited to do this for the rest of my life and be terrified.”

We don’t really have any other option. So, yeah, if you’re trying to help, I’m thankful.