I heard a comedian, his name escapes me, like most of the moderate to essential memories currently tunnelling their way out of my brain, who has a very funny stand up section based on the concept of the shortest joke.
As my opening gambit I give you four words:
“Venison’s dear isn’t it?”
or
“Small medium at large”
For three you can have:
“Stationery shop moves”
Obviously that one doesn’t transfer well to the written word but stay with me and practise it out loud a few times.
Why on earth am I banging on about jokes? Economy, efficiency and do what is necessary, not what is luxury. That’s where we find ourselves now in the arts and few would question that we might be here a while.
Let’s not kid ourselves, the arts aren’t that special when compared to essential services nor are they essential when compared to social services.
Can you honestly make an argument that nurses or teachers (by the way FE sector teachers have not even sniffed a pay rise in nearly five years) shouldn’t get money whilst we do? Of course the ideal would be that we all get what’s fair but if that utopian fairness existed some reckless loan banker would right now be paying my mortgage instead of wondering, no doubt as he sips his Pimm’s at Wimbledon, how he will spend his bonus this year despite his bank still making a loss.
Fairness is irrelevant though. Wasting time cursing the lack of it creates negative energy and debilitates our souls, and we need to live with reality. Perhaps the karma train will find the bank stop next time around.
So buckle up and let’s hope we are all still standing when this particular ride finishes.
The shortest joke thus far?
Arts funding.
Adrian Hall is Co-Director of ALRA