Gillian Bates contemplates the prospect of smoke-free theatres.
This smoking ban is beginning to bite isn?t it? Sometimes I think smokers working in the cultural sector are like the last warriors of a defeated army. They know it?s all over but they march on, bedraggled and pretending to be nonchalant. They carry on puffing, despite the pressure from society in general and evangelical former smokers in particular. Quite why so many people in the arts still smoke is a bit beyond me? Does smoking assist in the creative process? Or is the creative process so tough that only a roll-up will distract from the pain?
And since art naturally reflects life, smokers have been appearing in plays and on the stage for years. Can you imagine Sherlock Holmes without his pipe? Or Mrs Robinson from The Graduate without her ultra slim? Or Oscar Wilde?s Algernon from the Importance of Being Ernest, without his cigarette case?
Well fairly soon you will have to! It seems that some local authorities are about to ban actors from smoking on stage. They are saying that smoking must cease in all ?enclosed places of work? and this includes theatres. Now many actors I know will be gratified to hear that theatres are indeed considered to be ?places of work? (as opposed to playgrounds for adults who refuse to grow up). However, banning a bit of ?luvee? characterisation seems a bit strong doesn?t it?
What do they think is going to happen to the audience anyway? Will the whole of the first ten rows of the stalls expire instantly when an actress in the Graduate six yards upstage lights up one Virginia Slim? Surely you inhale more smoke when innocently walking past the banned smokers congregating outside the Stage Door than you could possibly get from the odd curl drifting down from stage left.
Still I suppose the ban on actors smoking on stage may also cut down on another great British Tradition ? audience coughing. Audiences like to use any old excuse to cough, most notably if there is any hint of Dry Ice in the production. Scientifically speaking, Dry Ice is impossible to inhale and could never cause a coughing fit ? but you try telling that to the old dear in row two. Banning actors from smoking will give the coughers one less excuse, I suppose. Actually, if they banned audiences from coughing in the theatre we?d definitely be looking at an improved quality of life?
Gillian Bates is a journalist and arts marketing consultant.
e: gillianbates@gkbmarketing.freeserve.co.uk