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Q: I work in a very small company and have a major crush on my colleague. We are both single and we work together well as a team. Should I ask him out or would it appear unprofessional to our manager? I’m also worried about the fallout on the rest of the team if it were to go horribly, awkwardly wrong.
A: And your problem is…? Snogging in the stationery cupboard is unprofessional. So is copulating on the copier – especially if your office is open plan. But asking a colleague out on a date? I’m wondering what is really holding you back from suggesting a drink or a bite to eat after work. You’ve already got a professional friendship, so build on that. Testing the water with something low key makes it a less daunting prospect for you in the first place, and gives you something that is easier to recover from if it does not progress the way you hope.
You are very sensible to think ahead, however – not a compliment often paid to people consumed by a major crush. Have a skim read of your staff handbook and find out if there are any guidelines or contractual restrictions on relationships at work. Be aware of what constitutes sexual harassment, and make sure that you never engage in any behaviour that could possibly lead to unpleasant accusations. If a relationship starts to bloom, then take it slowly and be discrete. If it all goes pear-shaped at some point, then grieve at home. Dump your emotional angst on your non-work friends, and stay as professional as you can at work.
Be bold. Do it. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.