Gillian Bates takes a look at the lighter side of life and work as a freelance in the arts.
People familiar with British classical music concerts will recognise the phenomenon known as ?The Cough?. I promote classical concerts in Nottingham and so am up to date with this peculiar and highly contagious medical complaint. This is how it develops: as the first movement ends there is silence, a fluttering of programmes, then it starts... one person coughs, then another and another. It becomes a Mexican wave of coughing, passed from person to person, resounding through the delicate acoustics of the auditorium. People who barely had a tickle three seconds ago are now uncontrollably in spasm, some lurch for the Weatheralls like a parched man in the desert seeing water for the first time in days. There follows what I think of as the Harry Potter Moment: the conductor raises his baton and hey presto! All coughing ceases? until the end of the next movement.
Last week, I saw a classical concert in a Venice Church. It was Vivaldi?s Four Seasons (you know? dum dum da da dum dum dum duum? that?s the one). At the end of the first movement there was silence. Then came the flutter of programmes. I steeled myself for The Cough. Instead, tentatively at first, then more confidently, clapping broke out. It became resounding, then turned into cheering. The soloist, looking chuffed in a laid-back Italian sort of way, took several bows then got back to the business of the second movement. It was fantastic.
So that?s it now. I don?t care if I am the only one out of 2,300 in the Royal Concert Hall. Next time, clap I will. After all what harm would there be? Classical music has got to be one of the most over-the-top musical artforms at the best of times. I mean, whoever decided a black satin evening gown was de rigueur for a female cellist? Practically speaking, she?d be better off in a pair of jodhpurs. So let?s all take courage and clap ? it might challenge our British reserve but it?s got to be a lot more fun applauding the tunes rather than searching for Tunes.
Gillian Bates is a freelance arts marketing consultant.
e: gillianbates@gkbmarketing.freeserve.co.uk