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Q I am the only straight person in a team of six. I’m also the youngest by a couple of years. I get on well with my colleagues – some are good pals – but I feel very much like the minority here. Sometimes the banter gets a bit ripe and I just find it really embarrassing. Should I say anything, or just keep smiling? I don’t want to mark myself as the odd one out.

A The baseline is that no one should be made to feel uncomfortable in the workplace as a result of race, religion, gender, sexuality etc. However I do understand that you don’t want to make an issue of it. Sometimes it can be very easy to go along with the crowd for a quiet life, but others may feel the same way you do. If you are really uncomfortable I would suggest approaching your line manager to have a discreet word at your next one-to-one meeting, to get some assistance in toning down the banter. If not, a word with one of your colleagues who may be sympathetic. Be very clear that this is about the explicit nature of the banter and not about the sexuality of your colleagues. If this does become a more pressing issue there should be formal procedures to follow internally at your organisation and there is national legislation in place. You mention that you are the youngest by a couple of years and I wonder if you have considered undertaking some training around assertiveness and confidence building? It might be worth checking out if something is available in the organisation you work for or more generally. There’s lots of provision out there and this could enable you to deal effectively with this situation and others as they arise in the future.

 

Nicola Turner is Assistant Director of the Cultural Leadership Programme.
http://www.culturalleadership.org.uk